My wife and I are both adept at using words. They express our needs and sometimes explain our thought processes. I also use them to sell and to argue and to defend myself. Because the wiring of my brain is atypical this can come out in very peculiar ways. I struggle with the feelings that I am not understood even when I am certain I am communicating clearly. It’s said that the biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has happened in the first place.
My wife and I are both readers and writers. We focus a lot of our energy on making the words come out right. Our sons are not as careful with their words. My oldest is two states away so our communication is mostly through Facebook Messenger and occasionally a video chat. The three adult sons of my wife and I all still live at home. They are all on the autism spectrum at various levels of function. Our oldest is verbal, and likes to pretend to do “Let’s Plays” while he is playing his video games. He does have a problem with stuttering so has trouble getting out words with communicative intent. His main form of artistic expression is drawing. We encourage that as well as working on his words because words have power.
Our next son is completely nonverbal. He is content most of the time to be left alone to stim on the “Veggie Tales” theme song or other YouTube videos. He has a collection of books. We don’t know how much he can read because he doesn’t ever talk or write. But occasionally my wife and I will get a book and he will claim it for his piles. A few years back he claimed “The Dignity of Man” and kept it on the top of his piles until we agreed that it was his. I also bought a parallel Quran and he claimed that. I tried to take it back from him a few times so I could reference Islamic doctrine, but he always reclaimed it. I don’t know how much good a parallel Quran does him but it’s his now. Those words have power too.
Our youngest has some verbal skill but he also has meltdowns fairly regularly. When he needs his words the most is when they are least accessible. This is frustrating for all of us. When he is regulated his can politely request his basic needs and wants. We try to keep him regulated so he can tell us those things. I have taught him the phrase “Words have power,” and I hope it will serve him when I am gone.
(Part Two)
Latter Day Sinner 