Latter Day Sinner

I was a very high strung little boy. My uncle nicknamed me Fred Smith because I reminded him of Federal Express. As I got older I learned to focus my nervous energy and got into choirs and theater. It was harder to tell how uptight I was from the stage. After high school I went to the Army which exacerbated the problem. After that college where I wasn’t relaxed at all just anxious and depressed. Then I came back to my hometown. I worked a little and in the back of a Taco Bell I was given marijuana for the first time. It was a turning point. I melted into the chair from the feeling and my heart skipped half a beat on the ride home. I lost a lot that morning and among the things I lost was a structure in my thoughts that both trapped me and propped me up. Over the years and with a lot more THC I began to relax. I still get anxious and depressed but it is rarely as crippling as it was as a child and young adult. I look back and wonder how my life would be different without pot but I cannot change the past only make choices now that promote my stability and inspiration.