14 And now behold, I ask of you, my brethren of the church, have ye spiritually been born of God? Have ye received his image in your countenances? Have ye experienced this mighty change in your hearts? (Alma 4 Book of Mormon)
I have never had a mighty change of heart. Perhaps this is one of the reasons I think the stake president was wrong when he declared me worthy to receive the Melchizedek priesthood. I believe that the Book of Mormon is the best book and that Mormons are remarkable people. In some ways I think that Exmormons who try to take just the good stuff from The Church have some of that same peculiar goodness. My wife sure does. I’m friends with an Exmormon exmissionary who is also an extraordinary human being. Did they have a mighty change of heart? Did their heart change back or away, and was the change as mighty? I should ask.
But I’ve never taken on the countenance of Christ. I am a Crist. Sometimes that implies to me that I am a servant of Christ. Other times it feels like I am a counterfeit. Either way I am a sinner not a Saint. It puts me in a strange position to the Restored Gospel. I am currently neither orthodox nor orthoprax. I am what they call “less active.” I don’t feel the need to walk away from The Church, but I’m not participating either. I’m just a quiet little visionary typing away for anyone who wants to see it, and I wonder whether I will have that momentous change and whether I even need it.
Latter Day Sinner 