Latter Day Sinner

I am not an obedient man, but I like to think I can make and keep covenants. Stephanie and I have been faithfully married for almost 30 years. That is the covenant I am most proud of keeping. My oldest son’s mom made me promise that I would not try to take him from her. I did pretty well on that covenant too. But there’s a covenant that has been nagging me. I made a covenant to follow Jesus Christ when I was baptized into the LDS Church. I don’t think I can lay down my life for him. I have become a hearer of the word instead of a doer. I feel like I have sacrificed enough at this point in my life and would like God to reward me now. That’s obviously not how it works but it’s tugging me away from my covenant of baptism. I continue to have the days I deserve.