Latter Day Sinner

I’m feeling off today. I’ve been taking my psych meds at erratic times and in the past couple of weeks I’ve been self medicating. I’m too old to be treating my body like a chemistry experiment. And it’s not like anyone actually wants to party with me. I’m not feeling very nice. I mean that both ways. I don’t feel nice as in comfortable in my skin. But I also don’t feel nice as in giving in to people who want me to play the nice guy. And death feels closer everyday. That is a reality for everyone I’m just finding it closer to the top of my brain at the moment. Definitely weird but not awesome. I need to be better. The chemicals don’t help with that.