Stephanie and I argue about whether our lives should be sustainable (her view) or maintainable (my view). The difference is that a sustainable lifestyle is theoretically permanent where a maintainable lifestyle only keeps working as long as we keep working on it. She wants sanctuary and I want prosperity. We are at an impasse.
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Latter Day Sinner 
18 responses to “sustainable”
Sustainable systems use natural forces to perpetuate healthy dynamics within the system. Unsustainable systems use abuse to maintain the status quo.
You broke the impasse when you tried to abuse me to maintain your unsustainable lifestyle.
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You are right about at least one thing. Our relationship reached a tipping point last night. You’ve been ratcheting up your yelling for months and last night I yelled back. There isn’t any going back from that. I don’t want to lose you, but as you’ve typed several times I already have, so what I want is irrelevant at this point.
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Last night was not the first time you yelled back. Last night was the first time you tried to deny my right to speak in favor of your privilege not to hear challenges to your beliefs. It was also the first time you “lost control” while spitting in my face in that you broke your drill sergeant rules and pushed me, just a little bit, to try to bullying me into backing down on my right to speak.
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if I touch you I am sorry. That is a failure of the technique. But I freely admit to going “full drill sergeant.” I bottle my emotions, I take a lot of shit, and then after months and sometimes years I explode. It’s very cathartic. I’m not angry at you at all right now. Again I know I’ve lost you, and that hurts, but you are your own woman and can do and say anything you want. If your best course is leave me, our children, and this house I can’t stop you any more than I could force you to remain in the LDS Church.
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To clarify, I have not left either the children or the house.
“If” I did something that I am not willing to acknowledge…is not an apology.
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I am not apologizing. I think I am right about your harassment coming to a head and me reacting was inevitable.
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You think abusing me is okay if I “threaten” you with cognitive dissonance, which is why you lost me.
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You can invalidate my feelings all you like. You can claim that I’m an abuser and the world will cheer you on while you grind me under your foot. Again I can’t stop you, and don’t expect anything better from you at the moment.
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Abuse isn’t a feeling. It is a style of human behavior which you demonstrated. How you behave towards me is a fact I can prove, not a feeling I am invalidating.
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And the world cheers your “bravery.”
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Nobody is cheering. That’s all in your head.
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Perhaps, I still think you can walk away and ruin my life at the same time because I screamed at you, spit on you, and may have even bumped you in the process.
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I can. I can “ruin your life” by refusing to be enslaved to your beliefs that you can control me.
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Yes, “slavery.” Very mature of you. LoL
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I feel like you 2 are really overthinking this whole thing. I know both of you are having your differences with each other right now, but I personally believe both of you are in the wrong for having this get to you as badly as you are. Dad is wrong for yelling at Mom and controlling what she says, and Mom is wrong for talking about genocide the way she is. I understand if what I’m saying might not help, but I don’t care at this point. Both of you have had differences that made you 2 angry with each other in the past, and you 2 have every right to think and say what you’re feeling, but Ben, Alex and I will need you both. Please stop letting this whole situation harm you both so much.
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I am not leaving you or your brothers. You will still have both of us. Your Dad and I no longer have each other.
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If you mean you 2 are divorced then I’m not exactly too happy to hear that.
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We have not filed any legal paperwork. The only alternative is to let your father bully me into genocide denialism.
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