Latter Day Sinner

I woke up in my dark room
To a sound like an internet dial up
A man appeared
He had white hair, a white beard, and brown eyes
He wore a two piece white suit
With a white banded collar shirt and white slippers and white gloves
He spoke and said “Walk upright but be humble.”
Then he embraced me and by his warmth I could tell how cold I’d been
And as he held me
I saw a rush of white wind like a blowing fog or snow but it didn’t obscure
I saw things more clearly than I ever had
My phone chimed and I woke up again and realized that before
I had still been dreaming
And then I wrote this
5 February 2022

I heard the sound of Internet dial up again
But I knew I was in the space between dreams and waking this time
In a flash the White Spirit appeared to me again
He was radiant and still in the form of a man
But the white wind rushed around him and it blurred his edges
I asked him his name and he replied
“You already know me as Animos.”
He told me “Listen well and remind people of their dignity.”
Then the wind lifted us both upward
I could see the whole earth below us
There were billions of sacred sparks
One for each man woman and child
I was overwhelmed and I fell
As I reached the earth I woke slightly shaken
26 June 2023

(An explanation of the name Animos
Not part of the original vision:
Animosity with the temporal
Ambiguity with man’s wisdom
Anonymity with respect to person
Animality with respect to creation)
9 November 2023

I heard the internet dial up again In the space between my dreams
I felt the white wind but there was no human presence
I sat up and I was in my chair
The room was bright
But I was alone
I heard a whisper that said “Know your worth and teach them theirs.”
The wind was a light bright fog or a blowing snow
But it made everything else sharper
There were corners of darkness at the edges of the room but nothing sinister
I was not content
I knew there was work to do
But it would have to wait until the afternoon
As I drifted awake I was back in my bed
My phone chimed it’s little salute and it was mostly dark again
Then I typed this in
12 July 2023

In the space between waking and dreams
I heard television static
I opened my eyes and saw the flashing
Black and white randomness
I struggled to make it mean something
There was a shimmer of transparent
White bars that moved slowly up through the air
A piercing vibration of sound
Pummeled me as I struggled to breathe
I knew I was trapped below the surface
In a world that wasn’t real
I started to swim upward
The chaotic vision and sound
Seemed to seep into me
Clawing its way toward my soul
But I was clawing too
Upward
The waves of terror slowly fell away
It became bright and warmer and quieter
All at once I was through the static
And the warm white wind surrounded me
I had succeeded in my struggle
I heard a whisper
“Reach up to God and He will reach down to you.”
I was awake
And then I typed this into my phone
27 March 2024

In the space between my dreams
I found myself in the sea of static again
I was treading on the surface
The static was like small electrical shocks
The air had the same gray lines of energy
Screeching and pummeling me
I had to move
I started to swim against the currents
I did not want to be pushed wherever they were going
As I swam I saw something black in the distance
It seemed to be floating on the water
But I could not tell how large it was
I don’t know how long I swam to reach it
When I did I saw that it was about my size
It was shaped like half an egg
I had to escape the static so I climbed in
I layed down and it closed over the top of me
Like a curved camera aperture
It was dark and quiet and warm
Like a womb
I could feel it rocking an moving
In the same direction I had been going
But I was safe from the static and the energy
I heard a tiny whisper
“It is time to rest and let the divine carry you.”
I fell into a deep dreamless sleep

When I woke it was morning
My womb had reached a shore and opened again
I stood up on a thin line of beach
I was hot though I only wore swim trunks
The beach gave way to a plain of bones
They were large and sharp as I walked over them
The sun was out but it was too hot
I walked for what seemed like ages
The bones suddenly gave way
Before me lay a vast expanse of obsidian flakes
I knew I had to continue
I walked onto the shards and they stung my feet
Neither the bones or the flakes drew blood though
The air was cooler
But the obsidian was sharp and hot
I continued to walk until I saw a forest in the distance
As I struggled to reach it the sun was covered in clouds
The forest floor was covered with pine needles
They were cool but also sharp on my bare feet
The sun was soon hidden by the trees
I realized how alone I was
But I kept walking
The forest was better than the places before it
But I knew I had to keep walking
Suddenly the forest broke
And I was walking on a vast expanse of snow
The snow was cold but the air was pleasant
I walked and the snow was a relief to my bare feet
As I walked the white wind began to push me forward
It was easier and easier to move
I came to an unfrozen pool
As I looked down into it
The water seemed to say
“Know your place in the world and accept its gifts.”
I saw my sleeping body in the reflected water
I sank into it and awoke in my bed
It was quiet and dark so I wrote this down
16 April 2024

While having my morning coffee
And reading my Book of Mormon about angels ministering to Jacob
I fell into a light trance
I was again in the space between dream and waking
A ministering angel stood before me
He said “Get up from your chair.”
I stood up and I was in a great empty grey plain
The angel told me to follow him exactly
He walked and occasionally turned to the left or right
The plain did not change no matter which way he lead me
But I followed closely so I didn’t get left behind in this empty grey place
He made one more turn and there was a chime like a cell phone notification
Then we were in the forest
We walked a little more and came to the pool
I looked for my reflection
But instead I saw myself at the bottom of the crystal clear water
The angel said “The natural man must die for the spiritual man to live.”
As I stared into the water at my natural self
The body began to bubble and dissolve
Soon the water was all a froth
It turned into a sea of great waves
Tossing me to and frow
The waves turned to static
And I was thrown back into my chair
Awake and Shaken
13 July 2024 ~9am

In the space between my dreams
My room began to glow
It was a fine glowing mist
As if I was under a street light
On a dark night
But the mist had a glow of its own
And seemed to be the only source of light
I stood up
I was still in my plaid flannel pajamas
And bare feet
Instead of soft carpet I was standing on cold tile
The room seemed to expand until I couldn’t see the walls through the mist
Music began to play
It was quiet but cheerful
But my mood was dour because of the mist
I felt the urge to dance though I’m not any good
It seemed like a music box was playing
But not from any particular direction
My feet were cold as was the air
But still the music called
And I was definitely alone
Perhaps when it was bright this ballroom was full of people
But I am usually still alone in a crowd
I swayed with the music
I began to move my feet and my arms
When my feet touched each tile it grew bright and warm
As my arms swirled though the air the mist of darkness turned into the white wind
The walls came back into sight
They seemed like miles away as did the ceiling
I danced and my spirits lifted as I spread the white wind and warmed the tiles
The music faded and I stopped dancing
But the room was bright and warm except for the corners where I hadn’t danced
I was tired and still very much alone
But I was also happy
I closed my eyes and my phone chimed
I picked it up and wrote this

11 February 2025