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Esta Mal
This morning there were men working on the trees. The whole block had a line of trucks on the curb. It is unfortunately also the morning that garbage and recycling gets collected and the men moved the bins out of their way and onto the lawn. I went out to talk to the men to…
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Changing the Lightbulb
There’s an old joke: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but it will take a long time, cost a lot of money, and the lightbulb has to really want to change. Change is hard. It’s harder if we resist it. Sometimes resisting change is the correct thing to do.…
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Vicariously
I was never subjected to any form of substantial abuse until I joined the military. That was abuse that I volunteered to receive. My childhood was very safe physically. But my parents took in kids that had received substantial abuse. I still wrestle with the psychological effects of being near other children who had been…
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Hypothetical Evil
I don’t like fictional stories where evil wins. I don’t like “what ifs?” about a choice between two evil options. The real world has plenty of actual evil and bad choices. The real world has enough unsolved murder, rape, theft, and lying without making hypothetical evil. Stories that normalize people getting away with crime just…
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All Through the Night
Hark a solemn bell is ringing Clear through the night Thou my love art heavenward winging Fast through the night Earthly dust from off thee shaken Soul immortal thou shall waken With thy last dim journey taken Home through the night
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The Z Monster
In my part of the USA a colloquial term for sleeping is getting some Zees (ZZZ). In Basic Training we didn’t have the opportunity to sleep well if at all. Sleep was just another enemy to be conquered. We battled the Z monster. If the monster won and we fell asleep when we shouldn’t, there…
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Decompress
I wish I could decompress. I’ve been bouncing back and forth between hyperalert and disengagement. I suppose that is to be expected sometimes with bipolar even on the best days. These have not been the best days. Stephanie has been protecting me from Ben and sadly that doesn’t feel right.
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The Tyrant
Stephanie and I are exhausted and Ben has been a tyrant today. He asked for a bath and when I told him he had to wait he screamed and attacked Alex. He has been demanding and sometimes getting soda all day. He has had enough soda so now we are answering No. He is not…
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