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Tamed
I was a very free man a long time ago. I sometimes describe that time in my life as living on the edge of society in the center of town. I also sometimes describe it as my gray period. I did a lot of soul searching when I was left to my own devices. I…
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Wearing My Food
I am a sloppy eater. That hasn’t always been the case. In my grey period I read a book that said if every person wasted one grain of rice that waste could have fed a small village for years. I didn’t want to let a crumb food go to waste. I certainly didn’t like throwing…
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Restricted
A friend of mine on Facebook posted a picture of a neighborhood with modular homes with a bunch of depressing stuff people would think about there. He ended the post with “at least there’s no drugs.” I answered I would definitely have to do drugs there. My comment was removed immediately and my appeal was…
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The Long Weekend
Stephanie went to Indiana and made a stop in Michigan. She was gone for 48 hours. The boys and I survived. Alex had a meltdown and Ben had a meltdown. Fortunately it was not at the same time. I’m scratched up, very tired, and so glad Stephanie is home. But I forgot to fast before…
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Rich
I had a very short conversation about Mork from Ork saying that if he made people happy his life was rich. In retrospect I find that sad. Robin Williams certainly made a lot of people happy, but in the end they treated him like dirt. I don’t make a lot of people happy but I…
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He’s technically my boss
Stephanie and I are in a peculiar situation. Alex and Ben are technically our employers. Lutheran Social Services manages the plans, and Premier is in charge of timesheets, but the boys are officially who we are both responsible to and for. So if you ever want to complain about your boss remember that mine says…
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My Mental Health
I saw my therapist today. We had lots to talk about. I missed my last appointment because the SUV was not functioning. I told him that January was a long year. I try to prioritize my mental health. But I also sometimes want to be a god king. Fortunately I’m lousy at the latter rather…
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Esoteric Wisdom
The best advice I have ever been given is not to listen to people who say you can’t do something because they can’t do it themselves. I’m still friends with the theater teacher from highschool that told me that. I need to thank him for that again. He’s a good guy. I hope he doesn’t…
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Executive Functioning
I don’t have great executive functioning. I struggle with organizing things in my space. I’ve played too many video games that all look like urban sprawl. My room looks like urban sprawl. But my trouble organizing people is far more significant. I remember listening to a book on a cassette tape where the author said…
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Wrong Room
I miss being the smartest guy in the room. I try to have adult conversations but I just can’t. I’m not a rational man and I’m finding it harder to pretend I am. And why should I pretend? Why can I give myself the grace that I would give to anyone on antipsychotics. I want…
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