Category: collaboration
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Church with Brandon
My oldest son Brandon is inspired by my determination to surrender to God. Today he drove me to church again. He is unfortunately not finding the truth about God that he needs most in Mormonism. The Church can be very strict and he does not need that now. So next week I’m going to go…
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Fighting
Ether didn’t come in the house tonight until Stephanie called him. He’d been fighting so she rubbed beeswax in the tender areas. Ether likes to fight. I joked that I do too but neither one of us is any good at it. I need to continue to ask Jesus to take away my fighting disposition.…
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Therapy
I saw my counselor today. I told him above the divorce and that the only sincere apology I can make is changed behavior. Letting go and letting God. No more beer, no more THC, no more masturbation. I buried my weapons of war. She told me at some point this week that she hopes I…
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Air Conditioning
We got that air conditioner. It works as advertised. The house has been 78 degrees since we turned it on. I read somewhere that cognitive function declines when the body overheats. I told Stephanie that I was sorry for the things I said when I was too hot to know better. She did not appreciate…
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Stay
Why do I want her to stay? Stephanie says we are divorced and that the marriage we had is not worth fighting for. She asked me why I want her to stay. There are certainly selfish reasons. I appreciate her womanhood, but that’s objectifying. I appreciate her familiarity but that has been dying of late.…
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The Illusion of Individuality
Individuals have very little actual control over their environment. For instance we are getting a new air conditioner to go in our central service. I could not make and install an air conditioner myself. A lot of someone elses built it, several someone elses will install it, and someone other than that is paying for…
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Hot and Cold
The weather is hot but the atmosphere is cold. We are alive but uncomfortable in more ways than one. Most of the work that needed to get done today has gotten done. Life goes on because we make the effort for it to go on. The struggle is real and necessary but so is the…
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sustainable
Stephanie and I argue about whether our lives should be sustainable (her view) or maintainable (my view). The difference is that a sustainable lifestyle is theoretically permanent where a maintainable lifestyle only keeps working as long as we keep working on it. She wants sanctuary and I want prosperity. We are at an impasse.