Month: September 2026
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Skeeball
My parents are on Mackinac Island, Michigan. When I was about seven or eight we went there as a family. There was an amazing game there that I had a lot of fun playing. I didn’t have a name for it to request it later. And as a kid I had only ever seen it…
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Abundance
I have a meditation tape that is just titled Abundance. It asks me to visualize what I want to have in more abundance. Financial security is what I’ve been answering to myself lately. But it also asks harder questions. What qualities do I need for the kind of abundance I desire and what qualities do…
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Security
The price of security is vigilance. Absolutely nothing lasts forever. Anything you want to keep you must be willing to defend. And if you defend something well it might outlive you. There’s a promise in Mormonism that with the correct ordinances that family relationships will last beyond death. But they are still maintained with vigilance…
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Degrees of Order
There is chaos in the system. Imperfections. We recognize order because we have chaos for a comparison. We understand degrees of order when we understand degrees of disorder. Entropy is real. Everything cascades to chaos. Heat death. Human beings see entropy and we struggle against it. We imagine forms of life where our thoughts and…
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Keeping Things Clean
Now that I have zero expectation that someone else is going to do any of the housework, I have accepted the struggle of keeping things clean by myself. I did the dishes today. I need to do them about once a week. The boys and I used a lot of disposable plates and silverware, so…
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Family Meal
For several days I have wanted pizza. Stephanie and William came over today and I suggested Domino’s. Everyone agreed. I got a pizza, Alex got a pizza, William got a pizza, Ben got boneless chicken, and Stephanie got baked cheese pasta. We all got a soda. Brandon is in Indiana with Nevaeh today but he…
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Ether at Rest
Ether is resting in my lap. He has been very affectionate since the veterinarian. The fleas are mostly dead but his head and neck are still knobby. But he can relax again and is mostly choosing to do so on me. He’s a good cat. I wonder how much of my life I could live…
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Dunkin Donuts and Divorce
Stephanie brought me a couple of Dunkin Donuts and a latte. Six months ago this was pretty typical. Perhaps too typical. I didn’t take it for granted today. I don’t want to own her or control her so I hate to even ask her for anything. I have got to get used to that.
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Deep Cleaning
I’ve been reading up on fleas. Medicating the cats is only half the battle. The affected carpet and bedding needed to be cleaned too. I was already doing laundry today so I threw Ben’s couch blankets through the wash. I also moved a bunch of furniture and deep cleaned the living room carpet. I had…
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Counseling 9 1 26
I had a counseling appointment today. Stephanie and I are still on speaking terms so she gave me a ride to it when she picked up Ben. My counselor and I mostly talked about the upcoming divorce. Stephanie has exactly 3 months to change her mind and change mine. All the paperwork is signed and…
