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Acknowledging God
I have gone back to church since Stephanie and I agreed to divorce. In several of the discussions there we’ve been talking about a pattern that is very strange to me. Many people experience more faith in God when times are good and begin to blame Him when things are bad. I am the opposite.…
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Loving Her
I’m conflicted about whether I love Stephanie. Part of that is whether I actually know her or the deeper question of whether I have ever known her. She can’t stand that she is the object of my affection. Her absence has increased my physical attraction to her. We always want what we can’t have. What…
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Cat Naps
Last night I stayed up later than I should have playing a video game. I turned it off at about 11:30 and was settled into bed by midnight. But Magic wanted to be near me once I was settled. She jumped up on the dresser next to my bed and groomed herself. As she spread…
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Cuddles vs. Fleas
Ether has been especially cuddly in the past week or two. He wants to be close to me or more annoyingly close to whatever I am eating. I love the little guy, but he’s got fleas. We have given him medication that goes on the back of the neck to get rid of them, but…
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D&C 135
I like to believe I have an informed testimony of the martyrdom of Joseph Smith Jr. The basic fact that he was murdered in jail before he could stand trial for treason is uncontroversial. Whatever else you might think of his life and glory he was definitely shot to death before he could be tried.…
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Airing the House
We’ve been running the new air conditioner everyday for several weeks. Today I turned it off, opened windows, and turned on the house fan. We needed the air and it was cool enough outside that the house didn’t get hot and muggy from the change. I should probably close everything up before I go to…
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I Am Doing
With the divorce looming I am regularly asked how I’m doing. Materially I’m in good shape. Stephanie and I agreed that since I’d be staying in the house with our disabled children and she would not that I would get the bulk of the caregiving hours. I can afford everything we need and have modest…
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Together
95% of the time if I ask Ben if he wants to watch a movie he will sing his little “nooo…” I usually leave him alone if he does. Sometimes on the other hand I turn on one of his movies for me with the near certainty that he will watch it with me. He…
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Lessons from Dandelions
The first talk in Sacrament today was comparing dandelions to people in our walk with Christ. Apparently dandelions are heliotropic. They follow the sun up in the sky through the day. The speaker said this was an example of how we should follow the Son of God in our lives. Dandelions also have a deep…
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